#3-Oops

So at the beginning of March I found out I was pregnant again. It was a traumatic day. I'm still getting used to the idea, and I'm starting to feel a little better about it, slightly excited, but mostly terrified.

Here's how it all went down.

At my 6 week appointment after Brooke I had an IUD put in. I had had one after Claire and it had been fine. Wonderful even. This one was not so wonderful. I had super long periods, cramping at weird times during the month, just not fun. So in January Kevin finally convinced me to take it out, saying that we would be fine and just practice our "birth control" we used before I got pregnant with Claire. Well at the very beginning of March, I was  up with the girls in the morning and I realized I was queasy, for the like 6th day in a row. Crap. I went over to the calendar and realized my period was supposed to start that day.

I decided to take my girls in the car and run some errands to get my mind off things. My period was GOING to start. That was the end of it.

We got to Target and I was doing some shopping and the nausea just kept getting worse and worse. I couldn't handle it anymore. I went to the pharmacy, threw a test in my cart, went and checked out, and immediately went into the Target bathroom. I took the test, in the stall, with both my girls in the stall with me. No more denying it. There was a plus sign within seconds. I started to cry. Full on crying in the stall in front of my children. Claire was a little worried. She was asking me what was wrong. I told her nothing and gathered my things and made it out to the car, shaking and in shock. I called Kevin, crying and in a panic. He was trying to understand what I was saying and I finally was able to spit out that I was pregnant. "no you're not," he said. Really? Really Kevin? "I have a POSITIVE test in my hand right now!!!" I screamed at him.

I went straight to his work and put the test on his desk, proof. He laughed and said that he believed me, even without the test. We sat in his office while his secretary entertained our girls. I cried some more. He told me everything would be ok. He was really sweet and he did make me feel better.
To clarify, I was not crying because I didn't want more children. I just didn't want more children RIGHT NOW. I was mostly upset about the surprise. I don't like surprises. I pester Kevin relentlessly when he has surprises for me. I can almost never keep surprises FOR him from him. I like to have things planned out, I like to know things ahead of time, so I look prepared and on top of things. Mostly, I was upset about Brooke. She is such a baby still. She is so needy and attached to me, way more than Claire was. I felt like I would be taking that from her before she was ready, taking her baby-ness. That's what I most upset about. Also I am terrified of having 3 kids under 4. Claire will turn 4, and I will have this baby 2 weeks later. Brooke will be almost 21 months. Scary.

The ONLY thing about this whole pregnancy that has me somewhat optimistic is that I really really really feel like it might be a boy. I know I have said this with each pregnancy, BUT I have never been this nauseous with either of the girls. I had to get a prescription to help me out. I have broken out more, something that never happened with the girls, I am mostly crazy, way more emotional and even more spacey if that is possible. I don't know, I just keep crossing my fingers that maybe this accident is what finally gives us our boy.

So that's it. I am pregnant. I am scared. I am somewhat excited, but I am dealing.
Baby comes November 15th. Get ready everyone.

Claire-isms Part 2

Just wanted to get down some of her best stuff as of late :)

A few months ago:

We were at Kevin's parents house and Kevin's mom was showing Claire some pictures of Kevin as a little boy. She would point to him and say, "look at your dad! That's when he was little like you!" Kevin was sitting a few feet away from Claire on the couch while all of this was happening. Claire would get really flustered and say, "don't you say that to me! He's NOT yittle! You make him big again!" Susan and his sisters would gesture over to Kevin on the couch and tell her that he WAS big, but she was still upset. She just kept yelling at them to make him big, until they finally turned the page.

For a few weeks now, Claire has been obsessed with Peter Pan. She is always telling us that she loves him and that he is in her room or outside and she pretends to talk to him. She also started telling us that she was going to marry him :)

me- Claire, who were you talking to in your room?

C-Pee-er Pan (she doesn't really say the T sound) he was in my room.

me-oh he was? what were you talking about?

C-I was just telling my Pee-er Pan that I love him and he is going to rescue me and we will fly, fly away and then we will KILL captain Hook. Oh I love Pee-er Pan, I am going to marry him.

me-you're going to marry him? really!? when will you marry him?

C-tomorrow

me-Oh! Well honey you can't marry him tomorrow because you are still too little. You have to be big like mom before you can get married.

C-oh....ok.

The next day she came to me and told me that she was big like me now, and that Peter Pan was going to marry her, but it's ok because they will get married in the Temple. Well at least she has her goals right!

We had been watching Tangled right before we went to the grocery store the other day. Right as we were walking into Walmart:

C-Mom, why is everybody mean to Tangled's mom?

me-oh well sweet pea-she isn't REALLY Tangled's mom, she is the bad guy remember? she took Tangled from her real mom and dad, the King and Queen.

C-But Mom! She is a Grandma!

me-What?

C-Tangled's mom is a Grandma! And everyone loves Grandmas! So they can't be mean to her!

hahaha apparently she looks more like a Grandma than a mom.

Yesterday as we were coming back into town from being gone all weekend, I asked Kevin to stop at the store and buy some Lysol spray. His dad had stayed at our house all weekend because he had started throwing up the night before we left and was too sick to come with us for the race. So I wanted to spray the house down in the hopes we don't get sick, again. While we were in the car waiting for Kev:

C-Mom, where is dad?

Me-he went into the store to get the spray to kill the germs.

C-but Mom!!! I don't want to kill the germs!

me-honey we have to kill the germs. If we don't kill them they will make us sick again, and we will throw up again!

C-oh no. I know! I will just be so nice to the germs, and talk so nice to them, and they won't make me sick! And I will tell Brookie, you don't hit those germs, and we will be so nice and then we won't be sick.

me(laughing)-honey germs don't care if you are nice to them. They will still make you sick. And Brooke can't hit the germs because they are tooo tiny, we can't even see them, they just jump on us and make us sick, that's why we wash our hands because it kills germs.

C-oh mom. I just really don't want to kill the tiny germs. I just will be so nice to them.

This continued on until Kevin finally came out. She never relented that we could just be nice to the germs and all would be well. Sweet kid.

Brookie is 1

I cannot believe that she is 1. This year has gone by so fast. I just keep staring at her thinking it can't be possible yet. Soon she will be as big as Claire. Wow.

Anyway, we spent her birthday up north with Kevin's family. He had to be up there that week for work anyway so it worked out perfectly. We had a nice day just hanging out at the house. Unfortunately we brought a nasty case of the stomach flu to the house, so not everyone was feeling 100%. After dinner we had cake and ice cream, then presents. Brooke is such a dainty cake eater. She did a one finger dip for a long time before she finally got a little more messy, but she never really got way into it.

Presents were fun. She got some cute clothes, 2 baby dolls and an elephant toy that shoots balls out of its' trunk. She LOVES baby dolls. She was so excited to see them.

Claire had a hard time not opening all Brooke's gifts. It was funny. This was the first experience we have had with the older sibling jealousy thing haha.

See her patiently waiting for Kevin to get Brooke's gift out so she can swipe it!

It was a good day. Brooke is such a good girl. She has her moments, of course, but in general she is such a sweet, happy, lovable baby. She loves to hug. She gets in these moods where she has to hug Claire. It's like if she can't hug her, she'll die. She follows Claire around with her arms out until she catches her, then she'll just lay into her and say 00000hhhhh the whole time she hugs her, these big long wonderful hugs. It seriously is the cutest thing I've ever seen. She would do it for 10 minutes if Claire would let her.

She is obsessed with me. She has to be around me all the time. Sometimes it's hard because I need to get stuff done. I will be trying to get Claire's shoes on and here come Brooke, wrapping her arms around my neck and trying to climb into my lap. I was complaining to my mom one day and she told me to enjoy it while it lasts-even Kevin says I secretly love it-and I do. I know it won't last forever, but sometimes it's a little inconvenient.

She is walking, everywhere.

She has 6 teeth. 3 on bottom 3 on top.

She says mamma, dadda, babba (bottle) bye bye and sometimes will say dog or barking sounds

She loves to walk around the house and just babble and talk.

She is a good player, much better than Claire was at this age.

At her appointment yesterday she weighed 21.5 pounds (59%) and was 29 inches tall (50%)

(compare that to Claire 22.5 pounds-70% and 31 inches-98%) she is definitely more of a Smith than a Tatom haha.

She is in her big girl car seat now.

She thinks Claire is the best thing ever. Follows her around, wants to be where she is, do what she does.

It's so weird to think she is this big already. I love her so much. You always wonder how you can love another child as much as your first, but you do. It's easy. They are each so different but so wonderful in their own ways. When I look at my kids I feel so unbelievably blessed. They make me so happy and can't wait to what other joys/challenges/surprises they bring me in the future, and what the addition of more kids will do.

Family in February

Every February my dad participates in a golf tournament, here in St George, with some friends. Even though he is in town all week, he doesn't spend much time at my house, buy my mom always comes with him and hangs out with me all week. Since my parents come, it gives my siblings a good excuse to come to my house, see family and enjoy some beautiful St George weather. This year, my parents got here on a Tuesday. The next day, my little family had pictures scheduled to be taken. I had purposely scheduled them when my mom was here in the hopes that she could get my kids to smile. Here are just a few that my mom took of my girls before the photographer arrived. I'll be sure to post some of my favorites (and there were a lot) once I get the disc.

She is so sassy.

My sister Vicki and her kids got here on Thursday. It was so nice because since the last time my family was here, not only do we now have a finished, fun backyard, but our basement is basically done, which made everyone more comfortable. Claire got a trampoline for Christmas, and the swing set for her birthday, so the kids spent a lot of time outside!

It ended up being a really fun week. Everyone left on Sunday, except my parents, who left Monday. My dad was able to help with some last few touch ups in the basement. We are basically done. My "craft room" still needs some work, and some of the doors still need hung, and some blinds need put up...and a little more furniture here and there. But other than that it is carpeted and wonderful and usable. I love going down there. I love having a giant room where all the toys are where the girls can play. Once we get the doors up and its actually finished I'll post some pics. Next up....Brooke is 1!

First post of 2012

Time is flying by. I can't believe it's a new year. I can't believe my baby will be 1 in a month. I can't believe she is taking steps all over the house, though still not quite walking. Claire gets bigger and smarter (and sassier) every day. I feel like it's going by too fast. Claire is so big. I hear the things she says, and all that she notices and it freaks me out. Soon she will going to college. Each night I just cuddle with her in bed for longer and longer and squeeze her because I feel like she is growing right there in my arms. She thinks it's funny. "Mom, (giggling) why do you just love to snuggle me so much? Is it cuz you just love me, mom? (I nod) Oh mom, I love you too! You are the best mudder in the whole world!" I love when she says stuff like that. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right.

Brooke is also growing like a weed. I don't mean that so much physically as mentally. I mean, I guess other people say she looks bigger/older, but to me she is still just my little baby. It seems like in the last 2 weeks she has suddenly become a 1 year old. She has started doing more "tricks", basically walking, shaking her head no to me, playing with toys and loving the baby dolls, bugging Claire like crazy. She is still so sweet. I am constantly staring at her thinking how MUCH I LOVE HER. She makes me so happy. She is so content and easy, except for when she is in a needy mood. She is such a momma's girl. She wants me to hold her so often, and she follows me EVERYWHERE. Kevin can't believe how attached she is to me. The picture of her crying below is because she wanted me to hold her and I was trying to take her picture, so she threw a fit.

She is so beautiful. I love to look at her, and kiss those chubby cheeks!
We spent Christmas up at Kevin's parents in Harriman. They have a nice new big house that was so comfortable for all of us to be in. The girls had a great day. Claire got a new bike from Santa, a trampoline from me and Kev, a Dora guitar from her Great Grandma Tatom, and a Tangled barbie from the Tatoms. Brooke really liked to watch everyone open presents, but she also got a few toys, the best of which is an awesome tunnel from the Tatoms.





Sorry for the crappy quality of the pics. We forgot our camera so all of our pictures were taken on my phone. The girls with Santa. They both did ok with him, they just seemed intrigued.

Thanksgiving was fun. We spent it at my brother Todd's house up in Riverton. We had a football game on Thanksgiving morning, which turned out to be much more competitive than it was supposed to be :) Claire was sure cute in her skirt, necklace and wings. She is such a girl. Here is the whole family, how Claire looked while she played, and how Brooke looked while we played. haha she cracks me up.

Other than that we are back to normal life, with the exception of a new gym that Kevin and his friend opened. That is keeping Kevin pretty busy. He and I have been going to the gym almost everyday for the last 3 weeks. We are doing pretty good with our new years' goals! That's what's new with us. We are officially 1 week away from having our basement finished! I am so excited!!! I'll post pics when that is done. Hope you are all having a great new year.

Oh and I don't know why it kept underlining things. Sorry.

Going Private

I am going to be making my blog private. Leave a message with your email if you want an invite to be able to read it. Thanks!

October/Halloween

October was a big month. Obviously it is Halloween, a great holiday, and then it's also Claire's bday. My parents were able to come visit for her birthday which was so fun because they have never spent a bday with her. Claire got a swingset from us and both girls are loving it so far.

Claire had blast opening up her gifts. All of Kevin's family made it here, including Alli who pulled an all night drive from college. It was so nice to see her. She got lots of presents. She is sooo loved.

Waiting for her cake...pretty girl.

Blowing out the candles. She got them all in one try.

mmmmm

These were taken at this farm we go to every year on her bday. They add new stuff every year and Claire loves it there. We had to drag her out to go trick or treating.

Can you see the dirty tear marks down Claire's face? She had already been crying.

They are so cute together.

We did most of our Trick or Treating on Friday night at the ward part. Claire was Alice in Wonderland and Brooke was a green fairy. Claire loved it. Brooke loved trying to swipe all Claire's candy.

Claire out on Halloween night. She kept telling me and Kevin, "you guys stay here on the street and I will go up to the door all by myself." Hmmm, growing up fast, much?

Our friends has this awesome Halloween party where we got to dress up. Kevin was Lieutenant Dangle from Reno 911 and I was his prisoner. I must say that he rocked those short shorts and everyone loved his costume. It was lots of fun.

I LOVE this picture. I love my husband. He is so much fun. We laugh with each other all the time. Seriously, there is hardly a night where we don't just lay in bed and laugh before we go to sleep. And come on, he is nice to look at too, even in short shorts :)

oh and ps, that is a REAL mustache.

So that was our October. Claire is totally a 3 year old now. She is growing up so fast. Not as fast as Brookie though. I swear that girl will be 1 before I know it. I catch her standing up by herself all the time. She says mamma and dadda and today she said baba for bottle. She is so sweet and lovable. Horrible teether, but now that her bottom 2 have come through she is back to her sweet self. Our basement is getting so close to being done. It's all painted, the lights are all in. Kevin did all the tile in the bathroom and got the toilet and sink in. Now he is working on the baseboards and door casings. He is such a hard worker-whether it's in our house or at work-I'm so grateful for him. Anyway, hope you all had a fantastic month!